If I only had a clue…

Boobs suck!

Of course, this goes against the Male DNA code, but really, who cares. Just yesterday I found out how little I know about boobs. Not surprising as I play on the hetero team, but still, a bit shocking nonetheless.

Let’s take this back a bit and give you some context for my ramblings. I was a 32 B/C for most of my life. I remember days of padded bras and duck tape in the efforts to attract the attention of men. And, I remember days of working out, running and just plain goofing off with no bra and no worries. My biggest concern was a cool breeze.

Then, I was blessed with 2 beautiful children…and, a permanent increase in bra size. Now, I’m a 36 B/C and seriously, I’ve wanted a boob job for 3 years…a reduction that is. Why???

Because they JIGGLE and they HURT!!!!

I can’t workout, run or goof off with the kids without extra support. And, going without a bra, well those days are over. The truth of the matter is that the increase of my breasts has been a literal pain in the bouncing chest region for years and I’ve got a penny jar slowly collecting funds to buy these suckers down.

BUT, I learned exactly how easy I have it yesterday. My girlfriend (she gave me permission to write about her but we’ll keep her name anonymous anyway) has a size F, she might have even said Double F. Now, I had no idea that there was a size F bra, but in reality this isn’t too surprising. It’s only 2 sizes up from D.

What is Shocking…. a size L…

YES, I said L, that’s the twelfth letter of the alphabet. 12 sizes up that you never see in the store. I feel really sorry for someone that has a size L. It must hurt. In Fact, “L” got a boob job and was ecstatic to be reduced to a DD…which would easily fall into a nightmare category for me.

Even an “F” had me a bit freaked out. I think health insurance should cover anyone who wants to reduce the craziness of having to lug anything larger than a D around.

For me, the penny jar is still in operation and when it’s full the 36 C’s I’m lugging around are getting chopped.